The Shortest Thirty Eight Chapter Murder Mystery In History -or- Murder, Deceit and Resolution in Seven Hunded and Forty Six Words

So many mystery, suspense and detective novels to read. So little time. I thought I’d share this one that you can finish in a few minutes.

Chapter 1: This was where it started. I knew it was trouble as soon as the dame walked in the door.

Chapter 2: The guy was dead alright. He was an ugly sight. Death can do that to you.

Chapter 3: I smoked some cigarettes, drank some beer, talked to some people.

Chapter 4 Two goons showed up and told me to lay off. We talked wise for awhile. I was funnier.

Chapter 5: I told the dame we needed to talk. She told me to come on over. I did.

Chapter 6: I drove to her apartment. She was dead. I called the cops. They weren’t happy.

Chapter 7: Bad cop said I must’ve done it. Good cop said he knew me. We talked wise for awhile.

Chapter 8: I talked to the guy’s friends and enemies. I didn’t get much. I met dame number two.

Chapter 9: I drank some beer, smoked some cigarettes. Nobody would talk to me.

Chapter 10: The goons came back. We talked wise again. One took a punch. My punch was faster.

Chapter 11: I managed to trace the guy’s recent actions. They didn’t seem like much.

Chapter 12: The cops called me in to talk. Bad cop still thought I did it. I told him he dressed badly.

Chapter 13: Dame number two called me and wanted to talk. I hoped she’d stay alive long enough.

Chapter 14: She was alive. We talked awhile. Then we didn’t talk at all. I was smoking when I left.

Chapter 15: I smoked some more. I was out of beer. Being a private detective is hell sometimes.

Chapter 16: The FBI came calling. They told me to lay off. I talked wise. They talked FBI.

Chapter 17: I followed up on what dame number two had told me.  I bought some beer.

Chapter 18: I found a clue. It was a big one and it made me mad. Took me eighteen damn chapters.

Chapter 19: I was smoking and drinking beer when the goons busted in with guns. Their mistake.

Chapter 20: The cops took the bodies away. Bad cop didn’t like it. We stared hard at each other.

Chapter 21: The FBI gave me another warning. The female agent watched me. I watched her back.

Chapter 22: I looked at something I’d already looked at, but looked at it a different way. Son of a gun.

Chapter 23: I retraced the guy’s tracks again and found it. It was the evidence that broke the case.

Chapter 24: The phone rang. A nasty voice said they had dame number two. They said they’d trade.

Chapter 25: I phoned my buddy the good cop. He said they’d be there. I made another call.

Chapter 26: I knew it would be a trap, so I got to the meet early. Hours early. I hid and waited.

Chapter 27: I watched them set the trap. Then I walked right into it. The good cop was part of it.

Chapter 28: My buddy cop turned gangster was surprised that I knew, but said it wouldn’t really matter.

Chapter 29: They took my gun. It looked bad, but that was before the FBI sprang the trap on the trap.

Chapter 30: But the baddies hadn’t brought dame number two. Now I was short on time and in a sweat.

Chapter 31: I was pretty sure where she’d be. I raced through the city’s street maze, the FBI behind me.

Chapter 32: Traffic was hell. Time was running out. I was pounding the steering wheel and cursing.

Chapter 33: I made a screeching left turn against a red light and got t-boned. I jumped out and ran.

Chapter 34: The police Captain was locking his front door when I rammed him into it from behind.

Chapter 35: He reached for his gun but mine was out first. The Feebs arrived before I pulled the trigger

Chapter 36: I got his keys and opened the trunk of his car. Dame number two was there. She was alive.

Chapter 37: It took a couple of hours and a full chapter for me to explain all the details to the FBI.

Chapter 38: It was raining the day after. The doorbell rang. It was the FBI woman. She was carrying a six pack. I already had cigarettes.

The End.

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